


I had never wanted anything like that.

by AngelicaR2



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: ASoIaF Kink Meme, Alternate Universe, Badass Roslin, Blood, Canon Divergence - No Red Wedding, Canon Divergence - Red Wedding, Catelyn Stark Lives, Character Death, Character Study, Dead People, Dead Walder Frey, Epiphanies, Episode: s03e09 The Rains of Castamere, F/M, Falling In Love, Frey Girls, Happy Ending, House Frey - Freeform, Introspection, Kink Meme, Minor Talisa Maegyr/Robb Stark, Misogyny, POV Amerei Frey, POV Female Character, POV Joyeuse Frey, POV Kitty Frey, POV Roslin Frey, Period-Typical Sexism, Pre-Red Wedding, Realization, Red Wedding, Robb Lives, Slut Shaming, The Rains of Castamere (song), The Twins (ASOIaF), Unhappy Ending, Widow Kitty Frey, Widowed, crossbows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-09-28 15:37:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20428322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelicaR2/pseuds/AngelicaR2
Summary: OS and drabbles about some of the Frey girls.





	1. I’m no wolf, but I do have claws.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [3x09 AU] : “Maybe that she could do that, Roslin Frey now Tully figured out. Maybe that she could be brave.” Or : Roslin Frey stops the Red Wedding. Edmure/Roslin. Robb/Talisa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s note : Written for this kink meme prompt : Edmure/Roslin or Robb/Roslin. “She steals one of the crossbows and shoots Walder Frey right in the heart. I just need badass Roslin and RW AUs man.”
> 
> Ah ah, I know it could never have happened, but well… let me dream it could have been this way…

She already knew what was supposed to happen.

Obviously.

It’s not that her family had especially wanted her to know about the Red Wedding, but…

People talk at the Twins, you know ?

And when she had heard about what they would do to the Stark, seven hell...

She had been _horrified_.

But what could she really do about it, exactly ?

She was _no one _here, in this terrible house, with her terrible father and her terrible brothers and half-brothers.

Her, Roslin of House Frey, poor little girl lost in something much more bigger than she was, she was nothing in the game of thrones, just an asset for her family easy, oh, _so easy _to replace if needed to.

Roslin was not naive, not at all : her family mostly didn’t like her, and she didn’t like them.

Her father was a monstrous bastard married to a poor girl closer to Roslin’s age than to his own, most of her brothers, half-brothers and brothers-in-law were monsters, and her sisters, half-sisters and sisters-in-law were as afraid as she was.

Too much afraid to dare to do or say anything in Walder Frey’s house that might displease this one.

So, the day she learned about the Red Wedding’s thing, she did as everyone else at the Twins.

She just _shut up_.

_§§§§_

She was the chosen one.

The one who would have to marry Edmure Tully, to ensure the alliance between their two houses and repair the trust broken by Robb Stark, and the promise he never kept, because of his marriage with the Maegyr girl.

A part of her wants to hate him for what he had done, because after all, it’s _his fault_ is everything is going down, he _is_ the one who didn’t respect the promise he did to her father.

But she knows better.

_Her_ father and those who organized this future slaughter are the only responsible, and she felt _sick_ at the simple idea of looking at her husband in the eyes while knowing what would happen and there is no way in the seven hell and in all the fucking world that she won’t feel _guilty_ while doing it.

How would she do it exactly ?

How would she succeed to swear love, loyalty, sincerity to the man she is going to marry while at the same time not telling him about his family’s future and inevitable destruction ?

How could she stay faithful to him while lying at him _since the beginning of their wedding_ ?

There are days, while she eats alongside the rest of her family and her father, where she holds her knife so hard in her hands that it almost hurts, and where she dreams to do nothing but cut her father’s throat.

Right now.

In front of everyone.

She wished she was strong enough to murder her father in his sleep and run away from the hell that her home had became.

One day, her father said : “Rumors say that the whore is pregnant”, and she immediately knew, as everyone else, about _who_ he was talking.

Her father seemed to be hurt in his pride, and hadn’t it mean something dark for her own future, she would have completely savored it, at his own expanse.

She wanted him dead.

He blamed the Young Wolf for not keeping his vows, while he had himself cheating on his multiples wives a lot of times.

And it was not the only engagement he hadn’t respected.

Not that she would dare telling him he hadn’t kept his own vows really often…

She just shut up, again, and bite her tongue.

Her father was spoiling _everything_ that could have been good for her.

Once upon a time, before all this mess began, she could have asked herself in wonder and interest what it would feel like, to be married to Robb Stark, or to Edmure Tully (and unlike most of the men at the Twins, people spoke of them as being good and strong and nice. Everything that she wanted in a husband, in fact.), she might have imagined falling in love with one of them, after they would be married.

But now ?

All she could see was dead bodies, rotten corpses, the Stark’s betrayed looks, as well as her own future husband’s stupor and horror.

All she could hear was her father’s amused and hoarse and satisfied laugh.

All she could smell was the odor of death, and the one of the blood of the innocent victims.

She stopped eating and retired in her chambers.

She wasn’t hungry anymore.

But she was still _angry_.

_§§§§_

The day of the wedding finally happened.

_It’s too much quick, _she wanted to say.

She didn’t want it.

She didn’t want all those people to die because of her, because of the fact that she would have said _nothing_.

But even if she talked, who would believe her ?

How could she stop that, _who_ did have the power to stop that ?

She didn’t know…

Not her, in fact.

Or so she thought…

She looked at him, _Robb Stark_, the Young Wolf, just before the wedding indeed began.

How would have things been, she asked to herself, if they had got married ?

She would never know, for sure, but she imagined things being different, she imagined a world where Robb Stark would have been faithful to his promise, if he hadn’t married the woman he loved.

He was an idiot.

He was just a really naive boy then, if he firmly believed that things would appear to be the way he wanted them to be.

The world didn’t work that way, King in the North or not.

She knew it herself.

You can’t always get what you want, no matter how hard you try.

And even if you do, well… consequences of your choice can be sometimes so terrible…

She would have let him have Talisa Maegyr as his mistress, she realized, as long as he would have allowed her to have her own paramour (well, that was what _Ami _would have done, for sure…), hell, she would have accepted _anything_ so the Red Wedding wouldn’t happen.

But now, well…

It was already too late.

She looked at the couple and didn’t feel any jealousy, but only pity.

She knew what was going to fall on them.

They didn’t.

She didn’t know yet which one of them was the lucky one…

Well, it was her, clearly, since she would be the only one who would survive at the end of the night…

They seemed to be so happy together, young and in love as they were, talking and laughing, happy despite the war, and Roslin Frey told herself that she would have liked to be able to marry for love too like they did, if she had the right to choose.

He seems nice, and so does she too, and they are smiling, and they are beautiful, and they are young, _so_ _young_ just as she herself is, _and they don’t deserve it_, they don’t deserve to die, Catelyn Stark don’t, Brynden Tully don’t either, no indeed, _none of them_ did…

But surely, they would.

Yet, she still pitied them, even though they were her family’s enemies, well… she was going to be a Tully now, wasn’t she ?

“I hope I won’t be a disappointment, my lord, she said to her future husband.”

_I am sorry I can’t save your family…_

She never said those words.

Instead, she just listened to his talking, and rapidly found him rather charming and nice, as she imagined he would be.

Hadn’t she known about the tragic ending of the night, she would have really enjoyed this discussion.

He talked about his family, listened to what she was telling to him, but she mainly let him talk while they were still waiting for the bedding to happen.

She didn’t trust enough her own voice not to tremble, to say the truth.

He also told her things about his sister, Catelyn, fierce and strong, a true she-wolf, of course, who had saved her son from an assassin, and who was so, _so brave_, and trying to seek justice for her dead husband and to bring back the pieces of her family together.

And who would die this night.

_Well, I might not be brave, _Roslin told to herself, _but at least, I will live after this night_.

It didn’t help, not at all.

At one moment, he asked her what she thought of the Twins, and it was really hard for her not to tell him her real thoughts.

_I wish I had died instead of being born here. _

_I wish I were born somewhere else… _

“I want to leave it as soon as possible, she answered. You know, it’s quite difficult to make a place by yourself when you’re surrounded by so many people… And it can be also… suffocating sometimes. So yes, I really want to leave this place.

Edmure smiled at her, before taking her hand.

\- And you will Roslin, I promise you...”

Her heart broke as she heard the kindness in his voice, she tried not to scream : “_my father is going to betray you and your family, they will kill everyone, just run away, now_ !”

Again, she did as she always did.

She _shut the fuck up_.

_§§§§_

It would have been easier, she figured out, if he hadn’t been someone good.

_To lie_ to him.

She internally cursed her father again, maybe for the fifteenth or sixteenth time of the evening.

Did it really worth it ? She wondered. To kill an entire family and all their allies just because of a _broken promise _?

It wasn’t for her offended honor, she knew her father didn’t care about that.

She knew he didn’t care about her.

He didn’t care about anything but _himself_.

She herself was on no side for this war, she was supposed to be on her family’s side, but which family was she supposed to choose now ?

Those who had raised her up but that she didn’t like, or those who might offer her a new life but that she didn’t know ?

She looked at her husband, as she was smiling and laughing with him, it was kind of the only thing that felt true and didn’t feel _wrong_ and she suddenly told herself : _I think I could fall in love with him_.

Roslin thought then that she didn’t want her possible chance at happiness to be ripped out from her even before her wedding night.

Her husband would hate her, wouldn’t he ?

If he learned that she had _knew _what would happen and _did_ _nothing_, _said_ _nothing_ ?

Could she really lie to him, tell him she didn’t _know_, while she did ?

Could she be a good liar ?

And if he figured things out, would he hate her ?

Or would he maybe _understand_ why she had done nothing ?

And if not, would he be _cruel _to her ?

She didn’t him to hate her, she didn’t want her father’s action to destroy her union with Edmure Tully, she didn’t want to _pay_ for Walder Frey’s crimes.

And then, the revelation hit her.

_She really didn’t want the Red Wedding to happen_.

The ceremony of the bedding then followed, and she didn’t even pay much attention to the event, it was like she was out of her own body, and that this one had became a statue of ice.

She looked at Catelyn Stark and tried to scream at her with her eyes _don’t stay here_, _please_, but of course the lady didn’t understand it.

Her and her husband finally get to their room and when she saw the bed, something simply broke in her.

How could she be here, and _have_ _sex_ with her husband while her blood family would be out there, killing people who were related or linked to her _new family _now ?

Oh no, she just _couldn't_.

She was not a hero, she wasn’t strong, not as strong as she would have wanted to be, she was not a fighter, or a warrior, she was none of these things, it was true, but…

But she could try to do things right.

Yes, indeed, she could try, at least.

Maybe that she could do that, Roslin Frey now Tully figured out.

Maybe that she could be _brave_.

She turned into her husband’s direction, remembering suddenly _where_ one of her half-brother (one of those she didn’t despise and who wasn’t here that night, luckily) had hidden one of his crossbows that had became hers, and that he had put into her chamber after he taught her how to use it.

She took it immediately, feeling a rush of courage invade her, something which was quite unexpected.

Yes, she could do it, she could be like Catelyn Stark.

She could be _strong_.

Before her husband had the time to say anything or to show his surprise, she said :

“They are going to kill everyone…

He blinked.

\- What ?

\- My family. My father, my brother’s and half-brothers... _They will kill everyone_ if we do nothing. Your family, your allies… _Everybody_. We must hurry, and you have to warn your soldiers about what is going to happen. Before it’s too late.

\- But… how can we get out of this room ? If we do, one of your servants or your sisters or brothers will see us, and we won’t be able to do anything !’

Roslin gently smiled at her husband.

“I know this damn castle more than anyone else, I know how we can get out of this room without getting caught. Don’t worry my lord, there is no way I won’t try to save your family from this massacre…

\- But… why ? Why are you doing this ? Why are you betraying your family ?

\- Because they are monsters, because I don’t think your uncle, your sister and your nephew as well as his wife and everyone else following you deserve to die. And also because… you’re my family now.”

She felt herself surprised by how _true_ these words were.

He was _her husband_ now, and yes, she didn’t know him since more than two or three hours, but the truth was that he had been kinder to her in that short time than most of the members of her family.

And she _cared_ about him.

As much as she cared about doing what was _right_.

And if she had to die in the process, well… she wouldn’t have to live knowing she was a coward with as much blood on her hands as the rest of her family.

Edmure began to smile too and he kissed her abruptly.

After, none of them if they would survive to this night, in fact.

_§§§§_

Roslin get out of the Twins and she started, seeing the Blackfish himself was out too.

As quickly as she could, she explained him the situation, and even though he had no reason to believe her, he _did_.

Maybe it was the fear in her eyes, the sincerity in her voice, which convinced him, and he went to see his soldiers, and, since _The Rains of Castamere_ hadn’t resonated yet, the Freys soldiers did nothing, not as one of their ladies was just there, with the Blackfish himself !

Grey Wind was freed too, and Roslin realized that the wolf knew what was going on, _of course_ he did, he could _feel it _in the air, and when she herself heard _The Rains of Castamere_ resonate in the air, she suddenly _knew_ as well.

She began to run.

The door was closed, but it was not something some soldiers and a direwolf couldn't endure or destroy, of course.

The obstacle was rapidly torn apart, and Roslin entered in the Twins, followed by all the Stark soldiers.

Time suddenly seemed to freeze.

The music suddenly stopped, and Walder Frey stand up, and looked at his daughter with an astonished look, like he hadn’t expected _her_ to rebel against him.

Some hours ago, she might have not.

But now ?

Everything was different.

She was not afraid anymore.

She was not a Frey anymore either, she was a Tully now, and she would stand up for _her_ family.

She would do what is right.

“What the hell... Walder Frey began to say.”

She saw it.

The worries in his eyes, the fear, the feeling that something was wrong, that his plan wasn’t working, all those things she had felt during the previous months.

She would make him pay for that.

No one had the time to move or to do anything, the Blackfish and his men, guided by Catelyn, stopped Roose Bolton, and they also went around the Freys soldiers, who didn’t have the time to attack or kill anybody.

As Walder Frey seemed to be ready to do something, like, running away from this disaster, knowing he had already lost, Roslyn Tully raised up her hand and her arms at the same time (already loaded of course), and she wasted no time.

She shot him, directly in the chest, touching the heart, and the old man fell on his chair.

And, as she saw pain invade his face, she shot him again, again and _again_, until he was there, dying, for daring to try to take her happy ending for his daughter.

When he finally completely fell on the ground, dead, Roslin Tully finally allowed herself to smile.

“You lost, father, she whispered, while Edmure was looking at his bride with admiration, impressed by her strength and her skills.”

He had wanted to kill his guests.

He had paid for it.

She saluted Robb, Talisa and Cat, relieved that they were safe now, and her breath became calmer.

“Fine… She said. Now I guess that we are safe now…”

She didn’t really know how things would be in the future, but she was feeling like they would be good, for once.

Then, some minutes later, a little girl literally burst into the castle, obviously looking for someone, followed by a man Roslin had never seen before, and as she saw Catelyn and Robb Stark, she froze.

“Mother ? Robb ?

Like she didn’t believe it was _really_ them.

They both froze as well.

\- Arya ? They both exclaimed at the same time, before both holding the little girl in their arms.”

At his sigh, Roslin felt a strange shiver of pride cross through her, because, even if she was not the responsible of this reunion, well… she had saved their lives, hadn’t see ?

And, as Edmure came next to her, she felt like things were _finally_ at their _right place_.

For the first time in her life, even though the context didn’t help at all, she was really feeling at _home_.

Because Edmure and all the Tully and the Stark around her, as well as their soldiers and allies were looking at her with gratitude, and she had got none of this kind of look since she was born at the Twins…

Because she wasn’t alone anymore.

Because she felt like she could find a _family_ in these people.

Maybe.

She looked at her husband, and she smiled.

Oh yes, now she knew it.

She could learn to love him, with time.

“Thank you my lady, he whispered. For saving my family and I, _your_ family… You risked your life for us. I am glad I married you.”

The young woman felt a feeling of warmth invade her completely, and she let her smile widen, and so did his smile and maybe this was not how any of them imagined their wedding night to go this way, but she didn’t care at all.

And, as she kissed her husband again, the feeling of warmth started growing in her and she prayed for it to never leave her.


	2. It shouldn't have been me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [3x09] : Drabble. “Joyeuse should have felt sorry. And she did feel sorry. She felt sorry for herself, for Catelyn Stark, and for the Young Wolf as well as for his wife. But not for her husband, and, as she looked at him, a knife under her throat, she hoped he would die soon after her.”

_I shouldn't be here_, was Joyeuse’s first thought as a knife was suddenly put under her throat by the desperate woman in which Catelyn Stark had turned.

“He is my _son_ ! She pleaded. My _first_ _son_ !”

_He doesn’t care_, the young woman thought, terrified and frozen by the coldness of the dagger on her skin.

_I don’t want to die_.

_Not now, it’s too early, please, don’t kill me, I don’t deserve that_.

Life at the Twins wasn’t a life, but at least, she could hope that one day her old and monstrous husband would finally die and leave her alone, _free_.

“Let him go ! Or I’ll cut your wife’s throat !”

_He is not going to save me, _she realized rapidly, seeing it in his eyes, in the eyes of the old man she had been forced to marry, the man who abused her since the first day of her marriage, the man she hated more than anything else in the world.

No, indeed, he didn’t care at all.

He didn’t care about anybody except himself.

She wished their places had been switched, she wished the fear in her own eyes could have been found in his own.

She would have smiled.

Had things been different, had she been at _his_ place, she would have let Robb Stark go, she would have let his mother leave the Twins as well, as all the Stark and the Tully forces present at the wedding, _and_ she would have let her kill her husband too.

But it was not the case.

And she was going to die.

They all would, in the end of the night, all of them, Walder Frey’s enemies, or simply those he didn’t care much about to think they deserved to be saved.

She was one of them.

The lady looked at Robb Stark, still holding his wife’s dead body in his arms.

She couldn't see his face, but she was sure he was devastated.

A part of her hated the King in the North, she hated him and his stupid choices !

The other, at the same time, hated her husband, the man who would let her die without doing anything, without a blink of the eyes.

Joyeuse should have felt sorry.

And she did feel sorry.

She felt sorry for herself, for Catelyn Stark, and for the Young Wolf as well as for his wife.

But not for her husband, and, as she looked at him, a knife under her throat, she hoped he would die soon after her.

“I’ll find another one !”

She felt rage, anger, _hatred_.

And she hoped, she _prayed_.

_I hope you will die soon, monster._

_I hope no other woman will agree to marry you, I hope the one who will take my place will give you no children._

_I hope she will kill you in your sleep the second she has the occasion to do so… _

For some short seconds, she hoped Catelyn Stark wouldn’t do as she said.

But, unlike her son, she kept her promises…

Joyeuse felt the sharp bite of the dagger on her throat and everything went black.

And then, well…

She felt _nothing_ anymore.


	3. A new chance.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [7x01] “She didn’t want to die. Not now, not as she was finally free. Surprisingly, the strange girl didn’t kill her.”

Her husband had been quite strange these last days.

Kitty couldn’t really figure out the reason why (it was not like Walder really talked to her, anyway…), but she was sure that something had changed in him.

And now, well..

She could see exactly _what _had changed.

It was simply not _him_.

It hit her the second all the Frey men in the room fell on the ground – as the person just next to her suddenly put off her “mask”, if she could call it this way – yes indeed, the realization brutally hit her.

Her husband was _dead_.

A bull of joy exploded in her chest, and she contained her smile.

She looked at the glass in front of her and swallowed with difficulty.

She had almost _died_.

And then, fear invaded as well, almost replacing joy.

She would kill her now, wouldn’t she ?

She might not want any witnesses, but well, she stopped her from drinking, didn’t she ?

Maybe she just didn’t want to risk her plan to be discovered if Kitty Frey died before everyone else.

In fact, Kitty was now sure of one thing.

She didn’t want to die.

Not now, not as she was finally free.

Her husband was gone, for forever, for _good_, and a part of her couldn't believe it.

It was like her praying had finally been heard by someone.

No, it was not the time for her to die.

Surprisingly, the strange girl didn’t kill her.

Instead, she _talked_ to her.

“If anyone asks you what happened here… Tell them the North remembers… Tell them winter came for House Frey.”

Oh yes, she would, even though she didn’t really understand _why _she had to or even what it really meant.

Well, these one were sentences from the North, weren’t they ?

Was the girl a Northerner ?

Well, probably, since she was obviously here to avenge the Red Wedding.

Still stuck at the same place, unable to say anything, almost unable _to think_, as she was still surprised and astonished by what she saw, she eventually really figured out what happened.

Her husband had been killed, and she was really free.

She was the Lady of the Twins now, and she would have a chance to maybe get a better life, she would maybe succeed to be _happy_.

Suddenly, all alone in the cold place, she burst out into laughter.

Yes, it was true.

She was _free_ !


	4. I might like you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [AU] “He is beautiful, and charming and nice, and… seven hells… She is in love with him.” Or : Amerei Frey meets Lancel Lannister as he is still a squire.” Amerei/Lancel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author’s note : No war AU, Amerei was sent to King’s Landing to find a husband (imagine her husband died before the story began), and Lancel is Barristan Selmy’s squire for reasons. Not really relevant, but I want Lancel to be happy. Oh and I didn’t read the book yet so Amerei might not be like she is in them.

She is Gatehouse Ami.

When she entered in King’s Landing, she already knew that her reputation followed her and she didn’t care at all.

A lot of disapproving looks followed her too every time, and as well, she didn’t care at all.

She was used to it, after all.

It was not like she would deny what she was just to please these close-mindedness people.

No one really liked her there, and when her parents had told her that she would have to look for a new husband in the capital, she had laughed at their faces.

_No one _would want her.

Well, in this damn town, she was liked by people like Robert Baratheon or Tyrion Lannister, because of her humor and her free spirit.

And then, there was Lancel.

Lancel Lannister, who was Barristan Selmy’s pretty squire, and who couldn't help but blush every time he looked at her, and she found it cute, really, who was one of the rare people of King’s Landing who seemed to like her, and not _just_ because he wanted to sleep with her, as other people at the court did (not that she really minded it…).

They talked together, and she looked at him sparring with the other knights or squires, or they both read together when they had time to, and talked about what they read, sometimes Tyrion was with them too (he seemed to like his cousin, even though he didn’t really show it), and it was almost amusing that these two Lannister people were the only one who made her feel happy there.

She was far from the Twins, far from her terrible family, and she had some people around her that she… appreciated.

It would not be that bad, if she wasn’t reminded all the time by letters from her parents that she was supposed to get married as soon as possible…

They wouldn’t leave her alone with that, of course…

And well, she was also getting closer and closer to Lancel, now that she was living there since almost one year, and it was possible that they had also began to sleep together some weeks ago…

And she didn’t expect at all to… _really_ care about him, or even too…

_Oh…_

Well, that couldn't be, right ?

Except that…

He is beautiful, and charming and nice, and… seven hells…

She is _in love_ with him.

It should have scared her, and yet…

Yet, she _wasn’t_.

She looked at him, next to her, sleeping peacefully, and she smiled.

He was one of the few people who never called her a whore for being who she was, for what she _did_, unlike everyone else, unlike _her own parents_.

He seemed to like her, even _love_ her, maybe, and she did as well.

It was so strange…

But it was true.

She was _happy_.

With him, she didn’t feel like she was a prisoner, as she did with her now dead husband, she felt like she was still _free_.

Yes, it was true, _she loved him_.

And, since she was forced to marry someone, well…

If he asked her to marry him, well, she might not say no.

She might even ask him the question by herself if he didn’t…


End file.
